20 Years On…

October 2004  Days that trigger off a series of events that will affect the rest of your life are notoriously normal, banal, fairly uninteresting.   Surely there should be a sign, a significant indication, that something awful is about to happen that will distort and screw your life as you know it.
But no.
On that day in October 2004 there was nothing more interesting on the horizon other than a Tesco shop and a quick nip into Aldi’s car park next door, for the usual mammogram in the van.
Talking to my partner later in the day, he expressed concern.  This I immediately dismissed. Cancer happened to me 7 years ago. The word is no longer in my vocabulary.
Why was there no indication from that moment on, the black cancer cloud would make a rapid descent, not just on me, but on all my family?

Part 1 2004 – 2014

This is the difficult part and can only be documented by a time line. Emotions have to be set aside. I need to focus on events and realities. Anyway my Grade 3 breast cancer diagnosis resulted in a prognosis of 20% survival. Actually the bit of paper sliding out of the printer at the oncologist’s room said that there was an 80% chance of me dying. I just reversed it!

Nov 2004  Surgery. My third grandson born

Jan 2005  More Surgery. Wound broke down. Thrombosis. Hickman line in, then moved. Chemo started and stopped.

Feb 2005  Back on chemo. Desperate for support , felt I was the only person ever with Cancer. A limit to the burden you inevitably place on your family. Started phoning Macmillan and cancer sites. If I couldn’t find anyone maybe there were others out there in the same position.

Eventually met Jo. Lived in the next street. Decided we needed to start a Group, for WHATEVER cancer! She had Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma.  Together we planned, discussed, pestered businesses for their support. We laughed, were serious, ate pineapple and played the Cancer Card when we wanted something for nothing..

March 2005  End of this month the LEIGHTON LINSLADE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP had its first meeting in the Community Centre, Bideford Green, Leighton Buzzard Jo didn’t make that first meeting. She died the previous weekend……suddenly. The thought of a group kept her going, that, and the hope she would reach 40 Too soon, Jo, you deserved more time.

During this month, my love of 42 years was diagnosed with mesothelioma, a terminal cancer. There are no words here…………..

May 2005  Both of us on chemo…….. in different hospitals!

June 2005  My chemo finished

Aug\ Sept  Radiotherapy…… both of us.

Oct 2005  My only lovely daughter was diagnosed with Breast Cancer (just finished feeding her baby)

Dec 2005  Started on Herceptin, the new drug for HER 2 Positive patients. Not yet available for all on NHS. I fought for it, and was granted a course of treatment.

2006 All of us having treatment.

The Leighton Linslade Cancer Support Group still holding weekly meetings. Pat, Howard, Mary and Angela appeared, along with our Mac nurse and Community nurse.

For my family a year we started to make memories. We knew that no one survives mesothelioma. We both watched that special person we loved so much try so hard in front of the children, and knew he was failing fast. Our sadness was beyond belief.

Dec 2006 Our last New Year.

Jan 2007 My love, her father, died January 17th.

Mar 2007 My Dad died too on 29th March.

Mar 2008 My daughter, son in law and 3 grandsons moved to Houston, Texas on a work placement.

LEIGHTON LINSLADE CANCER SUPPORT GROUP still going strong!
*We were growing. Cancer survivors were joining
* We moved to the Salvation Army Hall for our meetings.
* Mac nurse and Community nurse no longer available to us as a Group
* We started to develop ourselves and our activities.

Feb 2011 My daughter was diagnosed with Secondary Grade 4 breast cancer. There can be no words.

The Americans are fierce in their treatment and blasted her body: surgery, chemo and radiotherapy.
It took time for her to recover such massive surgery and the chemical and radiation onslaught….but eventually she did.

Part 2 October 2014 – April 2024

Well I am still here. And she is still there in Texas.
One day they will return to the UK, and I can stop making the awful transatlantic flights.

The LLCSG is still growing………now over 30 members. It is a huge part of my life, as I know it is for others too. We need each other for the love and support offered. They are amazing people, but I guess they would be…….cancer is not for the faint hearted. Our aim is to spread our net wider, aim for more awareness, be able to welcome even more cancer survivors and perhaps encourage more generic cancer groups to spring up in other areas.

April 2018 My beautiful only child died. She struggled with treatment for 7 years but eventually died in her American home with all of us around her.

April 2024

The LLCSG has just had its 11th AGM. Our membership is now 33. We have been a Charity with our own Constitution since March 2012. Amazing people are still attending – although sadly, many have died. Others are coming forward to move our Group on.

We must not give up, we must stand up and be counted, we must be there for everyone suffering from this devastating disease….now or in the past.

We need each other –  and we need to be here for those who need us!